hurting for our world.

we watched a video today in one of my classes showing 9 minutes of video footage from the indonesia tsunami last december. it showed the waves washing in and killing people- taking them down and washing them away. all i could think about in my mind was, "why god? why? why would you let this happen? do you really love these people? then why?" i can't stop replaying the pictures through my mind and asking those questions. i want to know why them and not me. why are they any different? i feel guilty for having a good day because i know people are suffering. i hate our country for going on living in our wealth and materialism while stuff like this is happening on the other side of our world. i feel shameful for watching that video and then just going on with my day like it never happened or just feeling sad for a little while and then forgetting about it later. how can anyone seriously be human and not be seriously upset by watching that? my teacher said the video was "touching" and that just flat out angers me. how can others' suffering be simply "touching" to us, as we slide back into our days of fancy cars and nice homes and wealth? even the poorest in america are wealthy compared to these people. i'm angry because even after watching these horrible, very real videos, people still continue to do nothing. even after no longer being able to use the excuse of not knowing, of being ignorant americans- even after being educated- we still do nothing. we still call these videos "touching" and go on with our days feeling kind of pitiful, or maybe completely forgetting about it and not feeling anything at all. god says, "to whom much is given, much is required". is it stupid that i feel like i'm obligated to do something? as a child of god, isn't it a command that i get up and do something? how can we as children of god and so-proclaimed followers of christ watch these videos, watch footage on cnn, and proceed on with our daily lives like normal? am i the only one to walk out of that classroom feeling anger and resentment, but also like my heart would fall out of my chest because that's how much i hurt for our world? and yet.... who am i? what can i do? why should it matter that i feel this way when everyone else around me is blinded by their sourness?

"and my soul wells up with hallelujah." -chris rice